Hooray for re-centering with Zen Tarot!

Thursday night was not a great night. I had been putting off calling my family (for various, long and convoluted reasons...) but I did really want to congratulate my brother and sister-in-law on moving into their new condo and inquire as to baby status since they are having my first nephew in a couple of weeks. Big changes for them!

My intention was to keep it bright, short, and light.

The reality was much closer to my fear. We ended up talking about an estate issue for 45 minutes with various insults and assaults, leaving me feeling emotionally and psychologically beaten.

Then I talked to my beloved who, after doing his successful darnedest to make me feel better announced that he wanted to go out on a 'bender' with his ex-brothers-in-law on Saturday night after the hockey tournament he has been helping to run for the last four days.

{Warning: Girlie stuff follows!}

Plus, I was totally in my PMS, 24-hour existentially delicate phase. Why, oh why, would I call during that time when I know I am vulnerable? Silly me.

{Okay, girlie stuff ends.}

And a final plus: it was the last day of winter and thus the last chance for the winter blahs to sink their teeth in. A bite which I had very successfully avoided this winter.

End result: Me, in tears, not sleeping. And wondering whether everything I am moving towards is a mistake.

Ahem. Yes. I admit it. I am not 100% vivacious. I do get knocked for a loop every now and then. Especially when I talk to my family of origin. Funny how that happens.

Friday, I vented to my clients. They listened, supported me, and made me feel much better. Yes. It's true. Sometimes I feel that I need to be paying them, not the other way around. But there it is.

When I got home, I decided that I needed to do some serious joy-finding. Being the analytic type I made a list of things that I thought would make me feel better - that have made me feel better in the past. Smart me.

Top of that list, and the first activity, was to do an Osho Zen Tarot spread and just check in.

I love oracle decks. And I am a huge fan of the Osho Zen Tarot.

I decided to do a Celtic Key Spread for the first time.

As always, my spread was a huge success. Incredibly accurate, reassuring, and uplifting. But challenging.

I did the spread, interpreted the cards and then had a nap.

Upon waking, I could feel the joy seeping back in - slowly filling me up.

Ahhh... Spring.

Yay!